


The Addict and the Assassin

by we_were_the_lucky_ones (zerothemartyr)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gen, Maria is a mess, Nat is bi, Slow Burn, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 10:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6191275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zerothemartyr/pseuds/we_were_the_lucky_ones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We've all got problems. Some of us deal with them by punching things. Others? Well, we like to think a mixture of chemicals will make the pain go away. Never quite works out how it's supposed to though.</p>
<p>Or </p>
<p>Maria has been taking far too many painkillers in an attempt to numb her psychological pain. Romanoff isn't here for that shit and isn't willing to sit back and watch the deputy director destroy herself over all the what-ifs that come with a screwed up childhood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first ever fic. I'd prefer for you tell me how to do things better next time round that just rip the shit out of me :) I haven't beta'd it mostly because I don't know what that actually means or how to do it. Please don't judge me for how awful this might be, I'm totally winging it. Also I don't read the comics so some of this stuff might be totally made up or stuff I've picked up from the films and exaggerated.

“Agent Hill has collapsed and appears unresponsive, Medical are on their way.” The monotonous voice that belonged to Jarvis echoed around the lab. Although Jarvis lacked the ability to feel emotion there was a hint of something, concern perhaps, in his voice.

“Wait, what? Jarvis, what is Hill’s Location?” Tony sounded confused, understandable of course. Hill hadn’t been on any strenuous missions in weeks, there were no immediate explanations for this.

“Floor 107, Ms Hill’s private quarters, I believe she is in the bathroom. The bathroom door has been locked from the inside using a manual override. Sir, I cannot open the door for you.”

“What the hell Hill?” Romanoff muttered under her breathe as she rushed out from the lab heading for the lift. She and Tony had been sifting through some documents the team had picked up from a Hydra raid when Jarvis had interrupted them. Considering they had told Jarvis no-one was to disturb them unless it was deemed an emergency, this was clearly not going to end well.

“Jarvis, send medical to meet me by the bathroom. I can get through the door but I’m no doctor.” Romanoff ordered whilst punching the lift button numerous times before realising no matter how many times she hit that damned button, she wasn’t going to get there any quicker. Jarvis acknowledged her request and, after what felt like far too long, the lift arrived.

The lift had taken what seemed like a lifetime to reach floor 107, by the time Natasha had got there medical were bumbling about just outside the entrance to Hill’s private quarters. As Natasha rushed past them she concluded that “unresponsive” meant she was not going to have time to get all fancy with picking the bathroom lock. Jarvis had already overridden the main door lock which, whilst convenient, put an uneasy feeling in Natasha’s stomach.

“What are you up to Maria?” Natasha voiced to no-one in particular, not bothering to hide her concern. The bathroom door wasn’t just locked, it had also been jammed. Shit, this is not good. In Natasha’s experience, no one ever locks a door and jams it just for the hell of it.

"Jarvis, tell Tony there may be some interior damage involved in this situation.” Natasha assessed the door, the best place to kick was just under the handle. As long as whatever was jamming the door wasn’t exceptionally well placed, or ridiculously heavy, a good old-fashioned front kick should do the job. Indeed the front kick did just that, for a petite woman, it was an impressive display of power. Medical took over as soon as the door swung open. It suddenly occurred to Natasha how bizarre it was that everything could happen in a blur yet still feel like it was all happening in slow motion at the same time.

“No immediate response to stimuli, pulse at 40 and dropping.” The medic sounded surprisingly calm, as if Maria was going to be okay and she wasn’t just lying on the floor appearing a little too dead to the world for Natasha’s liking.

“Shit, shit. She’s fitting, I need 10mg of diazepam and get a damn line in, will you?! Turn her on her side, we don’t need her choking on her vomit.” So much for sounding calm, now the medic sounded confused. Maria Hill had no outstanding medical conditions, this should not be happening. Natasha couldn’t watch, she turned to leave the bathroom and give the team more space. As she did so, something caught her eye.

“Diazepam? Isn’t that Valium?” Natasha picked a box out of the bin and looked at a nurse with such fierceness in her eyes, she hadn’t meant to look so fearsome, and emotions always had been a weak point with the Red Room so it was second nature to put up her walls. “Umm, yeah bu- ahem,” Natasha softened her posture and encouraged the nurse to go on.

“Diazepam is a muscle relaxant; it wouldn’t cause her to fit. Whilst it could explain her pulse, that’s all it would really explain.” Natasha frowned, Maria wasn’t the sort to take a bunch of pills anyway, none of it added up.

“I suppose if Agent Hill combined these tablets with something else, it could explain her symptoms. Are there any other packets in the bin?” The nurse gave Natasha an odd look, sympathy perhaps, it was comforting though. Without thinking twice Natasha had emptied the bins entire contents on the floor just outside the bathroom.

“Right, what’ve we got here; cotton swabs, bloody gauze and some medication boxes. Okay something’s up, Maria definitely doesn’t take these.” Natasha was putting the pieces together in her head and wasn’t liking the bigger picture at all.

“Caffeine, morphine sulphate and paracetamol. Recommending a blood toxicity test, liver function test and ECG. Wait for results then assess appropriate treatment. All agreed?” The doctor had taken the boxes and was already leaving the room with Maria on a gurney. This was all happening so quickly and none of it made sense. It looked like an overdose, it was impossible for it to be anything else. Yet Natasha knew Maria (or at least, she thought she did), they had sparred many times, they had almost died together on several occasions. This wasn’t Maria, this wasn’t how Maria dealt with her problems, was it?

Tony met Natasha down at medical within minutes of Maria being wheeled in. Tony looked to be in a bit of a state.

“They said it looks to be self-inflicted. Did we miss something?” Tony’s voice caught at the end of the sentence and he had turned away before Natasha could find a way to respond. “I’d, umm, I’ll let the guys know Maria is here. I am sure Cap would love a new excuse to buy some flowers. Thor is on Asgard at the moment and seeing as I’m yet to invent an intergalactic email system I guess that one’s out of the question. Hawkeye is over at the Triskelion with Fury and Coulson is with Banner in some lab over in London but I’ll let them know none the less.” Was it just Natasha or did Tony seem worried, actually worried. Not sarcastic or false, he seemed genuinely concerned.

Natasha waited and waited in the reception area of the medical floor, honestly it was like a miniature hospital down here, until an important looking man in scrubs came out to speak to her.

“Maria has suffered some liver damage due to the paracetamol consumed but we’ve pumped her stomach so no more damage can be inflicted. We’ve also got her on fluids to help flush out the morphine and caffeine. The Valium won’t have lasting damage but Maria will be asleep for around 48 hours and may suffer some short term memory loss after waking up, it’s safe to say she’ll be fairly zombified for the next week or so. Also, I’d like to make you aware that from the result of her blood test this isn’t an immediate overdose, whilst we can’t rule out the possibility of a staggered overdose, it looks more as if Maria was taking these pills for quite some time and the physical effects have only now caught up with her. Some of these pills could have been in her system for weeks, if not months.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria wakes up from her little drug-induced nap. Turns out she can't talk her way out of this fine, fine mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, summaries are hard! Also there's a mention a purging, not in the 'just eaten' sense but in the 'I'm feeling rather sick right now and it might help' sense. Heads up for those who might be triggered though. Also there's probably a whole bunch of mistakes in this. I tend to scan read rather than full on proof read every damn word, I'm dangerously lazy. Again feedback would be cool :) Enjoy!

The lights were the fluorescent type, intense and migraine inducing. Maria could hear a soft beeping to the left of her, it took a minute or so before her eyes had fully adjusted and then another couple of minutes before she realised what had occurred.

“Shit.” Maria squeezed her eyes shut in the hope that this was just some screwed up, incredibly vivid, dream. It all came flooding back within seconds; the stomach cramps that had put tears in her eyes, the shakiness in her limbs, the sweat that had drenched her even though she had felt colder than that time her and Romanoff had got stuck in a forest in Siberia overnight (which was pretty damn cold). Maria had ran into the bathroom thinking that she was going to throw-up, yet never did. She had manually locked the door so she could go on to force herself to throw-up in the hope that it would make her feel a little better. That was when she must have collapsed.

“FUUUUUCK,” Maria groaned. This was not part of the plan, there was a small part of her hoping to pass it off as an accidental overdose. Perhaps convince the team she had simply lost track of how many painkillers she had already been consuming. Then explain how she had gone over the recommended dosage thinking nothing much would come of it. Before too long Maria was being dragged from her not so positive thoughts by the sound of someone entering the room. As Maria opened her eyes and forced herself to sit up, there was the unmistakable sigh of disapproval from one rather tired looking Natasha Romanoff.

“You scared the fucking shit out of me. We couldn’t figure it out, do you have any idea how fucking terrifying it is to see your best friend unconscious and fitting?! I didn’t know if you were going to wake up, I panicked, I thought….” Natasha had gone from yelling to almost whispering in a matter of moments. In fact, Maria was almost certain there were tears in Natasha’s eyes, which is ridiculous because this is the Black Widow. The Black Widow doesn’t cry, right? Natasha cleared her throat and continued, “I thought I was watching you die, I thought this is it. This is how you leave us, how you leave me. With some empty pill packets and a whole bunch of questions.”

Maria had to admit the situation didn’t look good to someone who didn’t have the bigger picture, heck even Maria could see it was a bad situation and she did have the bigger picture. She wanted to apologize and tell Natasha everything, but something forced her to hold her tongue. Fear? Don’t be silly. The Maria Hill, deputy director and all round badass, scared of a little confession? That’s unheard of. Maria had a sneaking suspicion as to why she could not find the words, but refused to even consider it.

“When am I expected to be cleared from medical? I have work to do.” Such a simple sentence had required an awful lot of concentration from Maria to keep her voice steady.

“Well, they said you’d be fine once you woke up seeing as they’ve been pumping fluids into you for the last 3 days. You might be unsteady on your feet and you will be feeling sluggish for the next few days but it was to be expected, especially after all that Valium. You should be good to go; I’ll just double check with your doctor.” Natasha’s tone was cold considering her voice had been thick with an emotion that Maria hadn’t quite been able to place just moments ago. As Natasha strode out of the room to go hunt down a doctor Maria placed her head against the pillow and was only just beginning to acknowledge how much she really had fucked up.

Maria had been allowed to leave medical after a brief clash of opinions with the doctor. The discharge would be temporary if Maria didn’t keep to the conditions of her discharge summary (rather unnecessary conditions in Maria’s opinion).It had been agreed that Natasha was to keep Maria within eyesight for the next 72 hours in case of relapse or any unforeseen complications. Well, that and Natasha was to be staying with Maria in her private quarters for the next 6 weeks, or until both the doctors and Natasha considered it no longer necessary.

“This is stupid, a waste of time and resources. I don’t need a babysitter!!” Maria was getting more and more agitated as she and Natasha stepped out of the lift onto floor 107, Natasha had brought some clothes and a bunch of films to keep them both busy for the next couple of days. Maria was having none of it though. “Like I said to Doctor Cho, it was an accident. I don’t need you watching over me like this.” Maria glared at Natasha in the hope that she would agree. Maria didn’t get the response she wanted, she didn’t really get a response at all. Natasha swiped her I.D at the scanner outside Maria’s private quarters, Jarvis had programmed her I.D to have access to these quarters 24/7, and stepped into the room without as much as a glance at Maria.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha has become a soviet-style babysitter. Maria's had a tough ride so far and it's not abouts to get any easier.

It had just gone midnight when Maria slinked off to bed; the woman really wasn’t taking this whole babysitting ordeal too well. Natasha had thought it odd, if it really had been a one-time accident then Maria would have appreciated the precautions and that would have been the end of that.

It wasn’t an accident though, was it? Remembering back to the conversation Natasha had with one of the doctors when they had first found Maria collapsed. If it were an accident then her blood tests wouldn’t have shown that the chemicals had been in her system for some time, that and who takes morphine at that dosage for something as trivial as a headache or back ache? Literally no one.

The last time Natasha recalled being given morphine was after jumping from a rooftop to avoid being caught in the crossfire, hadn’t worked of course. She’d ended up breaking her ankle and a couple of ribs from the fall, not to mention 2 gunshot wounds. One of the bullets had an entry and exit wound, sounds painful but it was the bullet that got stuck in her shoulder that led to Natasha giving up her “I am invincible, this pain is nothing” persona and accepting a rather large dose of morphine.

* * *

 Natasha was on the verge of sleep when she heard a disturbance in Maria’s room. Whilst Natasha had converted the sofa into her bed for the next however many weeks, she had insisted on Maria keeping her bedroom door open. Just in case. Within a matter of seconds the small Russian was tiptoeing towards Maria’s room, gun in hand. Natasha tilted her head to the side trying to figure out what it was she was hearing.

“Run, you gotta run.” Maria sounded surprisingly vulnerable. As if something terrible was coming for her. Natasha reached the doorway and looked over at Maria, soaked in sweat and frowning in her sleep.

 “Nightmares, should’ve known.” Natasha muttered under her breath. Of course, it made a lot of sense. Maria was ex-military and even then her life before she had enlisted wasn’t as straightforward and simple as she had always made out. Not that Natasha would admit to knowing that. Level 10 files, some of which had been heavily redacted, weren’t intended for her eyes. Though when Natasha had discovered just how easy it was to hack into both S.H.I.E.L.D and Fury’s hidden files she had made it her mission to know as much information as possible about anyone level 8 and over.

“Please, I’m sorry. Please don’t do this.” Maria’s voice was considerably louder now and she was thrashing around in her bed. Natasha didn’t know what Maria was dreaming about but she could probably guess. Before Maria had joined the military she had been under the care of Hallen Hall, a private foster and adoption system that worked outside of the law. This meant if you had enough money or influence you could “buy” minors regardless of whether you had criminal convictions or you weren’t considered an appropriate guardian. It also meant a lot of screwed up people could get their hands on kids who wouldn’t fight back. Killers and abusers often relied on Hallen Hall to supply kids for their fucked up fantasies.

Natasha was drawn away from her thoughts as Maria screamed in her sleep, she knew better than to wake someone up from this sort of nightmare. Yet she couldn’t stand to see Maria distressed, bracing herself for the worst, Natasha put down her gun and walked over to Maria and sat on the side of the bed.

“Maria, listen sweetie, I need you to wake up okay?” Natasha spoke quietly and held a soothing tone, yet no response. Natasha nudged Maria’s shoulder and suddenly found herself being thrown across the room.

“ _Черт возьми_ ,” the force had caught Natasha off-guard and as a result the small Russian had ended up taking full impact as she collided with the wardrobe. Natasha stood up and turned to face Maria only to realise that Maria had darted into the bathroom.

“Hey Maria, are you okay? You did not sound okay.” Natasha was genuinely concerned, this was way out of character for the deputy director of S.H.I.E.L.D, and approached the bathroom with caution. The door was unlocked and she could hear Maria swearing, Natasha realised what she was up to and opened the door with a stern look on her face.

“Looking for something?” Natasha raised an eyebrow waiting to see what answer would be thrown her way. A rather furious Maria turned to look her in the eye.

“Where the fuck are my pills! What did you do with them?” Maria probably would not appreciate the sarcasm right now so Natasha chose to take the honest approach.

 “Well, since you nearly died from a not so accidental overdose I took the courtesy of removing all the medication from your flat. Which by the way, was A LOT of medication. So seeing as I know there was no accident in you collapsing the other day, care to explain why an agent such as yourself exceeds the dosage of various tablets every day? Don’t bother lying to me, your blood results showed some of the drugs had been in your system for weeks if not months.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I suck at summaries. Fully aware.  
> Oh also Черт возьми - fucking hell. Or at least that's what google thinks it is.  
> For the record, totally winging it on this. My grammar isn't exactly brilliant and I'm still figuring out how to add tags to a specific chapter and not the whole damn work. Anyways, enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a heart to heart, there's a bit of angst. Heck there's even a bit of crying. Everything's fine and I'm totally not projecting anything into my work :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the paragraph in italics between those line thingymajigs is supposed to be a flashback to a couple of years back. I'd say I'm improving as I write more, but that's bullcrap. I definitely seem to have favoured quantity over quality. Anyway I've been updating around every 3 days so far but I'm gonna take longer writing now. Try and make it more detailed and less rushed. It shouldn't take any longer than a week per chapter hopefully. Again, feedback would be wicked!

Maria was panicking. Not because that damn Russian had Maria all figured out, problematic as that was, but because she really needed those goddamn pills.

“Well? Are you going to give me an answer or continue to glare at me all night?” Natasha’s voice brought Maria crashing back into reality.

“I needed those pills.” Maria’s voice was barely audible.

“ **I NEEDED THOSE PILLS AND YOU HAD THE AUDACITY TO GET RID OF THEM** ,” Maria’s voice was definitely audible this time, heck half of New York probably heard her. Maria’s eyes were hard and angry as she charged at Natasha and grabbed the woman by the throat. In retrospect, Maria should’ve known better than to attack the Black Widow. Yet here she was, choking the woman and pinning her against the wall. In a matter of seconds Natasha had Maria face down on the floor with both arms behind her back.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll get off of me. Agent.” Maria’s voice was pure venom as she practically spat out the last word. The woman was shaking with rage but Natasha refused to let her up.

“C’mon Maria talk to me, what’s going on with you? Help me understand what’s going on in that head of yours,” Natasha’s voice had a calming influence on Maria and Natasha began to ease up as she felt Maria relax under her grip.

Maria snorted, “Oh please, you forget who trained you Romanoff. I know sympathy isn’t one of your stronger traits. Besides, it’s not as if you’ve never self-medicated before, is it?”

* * *

_“Nat, hey Nat can you hear me?” Clint stood over Natasha’s limp body with a frown on his face._

_“I didn’t even know it was possible for a human to survive this much booze, she’s going to have the hangover from hell when she wakes up.” Maria shook her head as she took in the scene before her._

_Maria had been alerted to Agent Romanoff missing two mandatory training sessions and several reconditioning sessions, not to mention no one had seen the feisty red head all week. Maria had ended up sending Agent Barton to investigate. Only to receive a call from a rather panic-stricken Barton less than half an hour later requesting assistance at Natasha’s safe house._

_“What should we do? Personally, I was thinking a nice bucket of water to the face, but then there’s a 99% chance she will actually kill me for it. Your call ma’am,” Barton had begun to prod Natasha’s face and was eyeing up a marker pen on the kitchen table with a dangerous look on his face._

_“Clint,” Maria’s voice held a warning as she looked from the marker pen to Barton. “Do me a favour, go and grab a small saline IV from medical back at the Tower. It’ll help with the hangover hopefully. Oh and stop off at Burger King on your way back please, get whatever her favourite is. I’ll bet she hasn’t eaten in a while.” Maria sighed and looked over at the small agent sprawled across the sofa._

_“Yes ma’am, I’ll get right on it.” Clint looked back over at Natasha as he headed out the door, “Damn pain in my ass, there’s gonna be so much paperwork waiting for her once she sorts all her crap out.”_

_“M’ria, that you?”_

_Maria turned towards the source of the voice, a very sorry looking Natasha was attempting to sit up._

_“Good morning Natasha, had quite the week, I see? I can see at least 4 empty bottles of vodka and there’s not much left of that whiskey either. I must say, you’ve really outdone yourself this time.” Maria sounded unnaturally chipper._

_“Listen, I’ve just been having a rough few days. I just needed a distraction, something other than some stupid therapist asking me if I had considered trying one of those stupid colouring books for adults.” Natasha scrunched up her face as Maria opened the curtains and let the light in._

_“Yeah, I hear alcohol poisoning is a great distraction.” Maria sounded pissed, Natasha couldn’t blame her. Maria had made her promise not to drink alone for the exact same reason Maria was now stood across the room from her; with her arms folded and a look that has probably put the fear of God into many a man’s own heart._

_“It wont happen again, I swear.” Natasha sounded desperate, she was never one to require people’s approval. Yet, with Maria it was different. People were always so quick to give up with Natasha whenever things got tricky. Not Maria though, she’d been by Natasha’s side through thick and thin._

* * *

“If we’re going to compare who screws up the most, by all means go ahead. Just so you know though, I will win. By a landslide. May I just remind you who it was that helped me get control of all that. Who it was that taught me that I am more than my fears and more than my failures. It was you Maria, it was always you.” Natasha’s voice had softened and her eyes were damp as she let go of Maria and moved so that she was sat on the floor directly opposite Maria, avoiding eye contact.

“I know about the nightmares, I get them too. I know what it’s like to want to tear yourself apart for all the things they did to you, but you can’t Maria. You just can’t. We need you; can you imagine the state of the Avengers tower if you weren’t there to keep us in check? I’m pretty sure Tony would go back to blowing stuff up on a daily basis and we all know how well that ended.” Natasha’s voice was soft and warming. Maria allowed herself a small smile at the thought of Tony being his usual chaotic self.

“It’s not that I want to die, really I don’t. I don’t even know how all this came about really,” Maria was now sitting up, leaning against the bath and gestured around her vaguely.

“It’s like I needed something to control and I couldn’t control my nightmares or some of my thoughts so I started using pain medication to help me sleep. Then I started using it when I was awake, I guess feeling nothing was better than feeling something. I didn’t mean to be like this, and I know I’m not setting the best example of how to deal with the situation either. I just couldn’t catch a break, and now everything is fucked.” Maria’s voice was trembling and big fat tears were rolling down her face as she looked at Natasha.

“Please help me, I don’t want to do this anymore.” Maria sounded broken. Fragile looking and vulnerable. Natasha knew she couldn’t walk away from her, not after everything Maria had done for her. Natasha moved so she was closer to Maria and leant forwards, gripping the woman by the shoulders, and looked her in the eye.

“We’re going to get through this, okay? You and me, we’re gonna sort all this shit out. You’ve got this Maria, believe me, you’ve got this. You’ve brought down alien armies, you’ve battled rogue robots and you’ve sparred with a badass ex-Red Room Agent. You survived all those things, you’re going to survive this.” Natasha let go of Maria and sat back.

Natasha wasn’t one for pep talks but that sounded pretty darn good to her. If Barton were here, he would probably look at her all proud like and give her subtle thumbs up. Maria was now stood up and wiping the tear streaks from her face.

“Badass, don’t you mean pain in my ass Romanoff?”

Good to see Maria still had her sense of humour. Natasha didn’t want to see the day Maria fails to crack a joke, terrible as that joke may be. If it’s beyond making a joke out of it then shit has really hit the fan. Natasha grinned as she got up from the floor, doing a weird little jig to get the feeling back in her feet.

“I go by both really. Anyway, I don’t know about you but it’s just gone 2am and I have combat training with some recruits at 6:30am and would really appreciate some shut-eye.” Natasha had reverted to her sarcastic tone the moment she concluded it was appropriate to do so. Natasha stretched and headed out the bathroom back towards the lounge when she thought she heard Maria say something.

“Maria? Did you just say something? Or is sleep deprivation starting to affect my sanity?” Natasha turned around and strolled back into Maria’s bedroom, only to find Maria stood there looking embarrassed.

“Would you….”

“Would I what Maria? Speak up.”

“Would you stay? With me in my room, I mean. I don’t want to be alone right now.” Maria was staring at the floor as she waiting for Natasha’s reply, shifting from foot to foot nervously.

“Maria listen, how long have you known me? Almost 6 years now. So you should know by now that there is nothing I would not do for my friends. Absolutely nothing.” Natasha had been a little surprised by Maria’s request but she understood how Maria felt. Being alone with all that in your head, very few people can handle that without a helping hand.

“So that’s a yes?” Maria sounded relieved. Natasha nodded, leaving only momentarily to grab her pyjamas and phone.

“Are those Lion King pyjamas?” Maria was grinning at Natasha like a child.

“Tell anyone and I can make your death look like an accident. They will never know.” Natasha grumbled as she climbed into bed. “Now I’m going to sleep, if you start snoring, I swear to God…”

“Oh please, you sleep through anything and everything.” Maria rolled her eyes as Natasha wriggled about trying to get comfortable. “Goodnight Nat.”

“Goodnight Maria.”

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the italics without speech marks are thoughts, hopefully it reads okay and makes sense. Consistency is key and I suck at consistency. My style seems to change with every chapter, I'm still trying to find a style I feel comfortable with. I hope you guys like this one. This week has been super manic with a few anxiety attacks thrown in for good measure. I hope it isn't too terrible. Another chapter next Sunday! Again, feedback would be super cool!  
> Oh and: дорогая - Sweetie (I don't trust google translate so it's probably wrong, at least I tried!)

Maria woke with a start. Turning her head slightly, Maria could see her alarm clock flashing 05:32AM at her. Natasha would be getting up soon.

  _Oh, oh no_.

 Maria was still groggy but she was certain that the weight on her shoulder was new.  Looking to her right slightly, Maria could see Natasha’s head resting on her shoulder and, now Maria was more awake, there was definitely an arm placed across her stomach.

Maria took in the woman before her. Natasha was beautiful, even in her workout gear and dripping with sweat. How she looked now though? Maria couldn’t quite find the words to do her justice. In another life, Maria could have quite easily made this a regular thing. Waking up with a woman like Natasha beside her.

_Though Romanoff could have anyone she wanted, is she even into women? I’ve heard rumours about her with the Maximoff girl a few times, didn’t sound overly platonic._

To be more precise, Steve had not slept too well one night. He’d taken a trip to the Avengers gym ridiculously early one morning. Ended up walking in on Wanda and Nat “wrestling.” It had taken both Tony and Maria over an hour to get the full story out of him. Poor guy seemed pretty traumatised. He wasn’t even bothered about the fact that it was two women, more that he had interrupted them.

_I wonder if Nat could ever feel like that about me?_

Maria’s mind had drifted as she lay there with Natasha. Subconsciously rubbing her thumb over Natasha’s arm. If Natasha hadn’t been needed for the recruits training, Maria could’ve happily laid there for another hour or so. Comfortably ignorant of all the paperwork awaiting her at the office. Natasha did have to get up though and Maria did have a lot of paperwork to do. Maria cleared her throat.

“Nat, umm Nat I know you aren’t a morning person but, we need to get up.” Maria wanted to untangle herself from the redhead. Though anybody who had ever been on an overnight mission with the Avenger knew that one wrong move with a half-asleep Romanoff can leave you with anything from a minor concussion to several broken bones.

“Oh my god, Natasha don’t kill me for this.” Maria knew she probably wasn’t talking loud enough for Natasha to hear her, it was more of a reassurance to herself as she began to remove her body from Natasha’s grip.

Unbeknown to Maria, Natasha was awake. Natasha had been awake since damn near having a heart attack when Maria had woken up so violently. She knew she should let Maria know she was awake. She was just admiring their situation. They’d gone from a mini-wrestling match just after midnight to… this.

To be fair, Maria hadn’t really been aware that Natasha had snuggled into her until she woke up. Natasha estimated Maria had been awake for about 25 minutes and she had only just tried to wake Natasha up. That and Maria was rubbing her thumb up and down Natasha’s arm. Natasha suspected Maria wasn’t aware she was even doing it.

It was nice, to both be laying there. Completely relaxed in each other’s company. Well, it was nice. Until Maria started to get up.

“Stop. It.”

“Nat, it’s almost 6 in the morning. You have training this morning remember?”

*cough cough*

“Oh no, I’m sick. Such a shame.”

“Get up. Or you’re going to find out just how refreshing a bucket of iced water to the face really is.” Maria was trying her hardest to keep her tone serious, but the thought of a drenched Natasha in Maria’s own bed was a little more tempting that it should’ve been .

“Bitch.” Natasha was glaring at Maria as she scrambled out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

“Oh, how you wound me.” Maria placed a hand across her chest feigning injury.

There was a knock at the door as Natasha started to brush her teeth, Maria pattered through the kitchen and to the door. The only people who had access to Maria’s door were the likes of the Avengers and a select few other S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Maria knew she was safe to open the door without checking first, though was glad she was wearing a rather over-sized t-shirt and boxers.

“Tony? No offense but you look like shit. You know it’s like 6AM. I thought you hated mornings?”

“Ah I do, believe me. I just wanted to give you this before you headed off to the office today. After your little self-induced nap, I ordered some things in for you that you will hopefully find useful. I was up late last night putting in the finishing touches.” Tony handed Maria a picnic basket and turned to leave.

“Tony, wait a second.”

Tony turned back to face Maria with a slight frown, unsure of what Maria was about to say.

“You’re a good friend, albeit a little impulsive. Thank you Tony, really I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” Maria flashed Tony her best smile and pulled the man in for a hug.

“Hummpf, uhh Maria? I’m glad you’re feeling your old self but I could really do without bruised ribs today.”

“Shit, sorry Tony. I shall have a rummage through that basket at the office during my lunch break if I get time. Now I need to shower before work so I best be getting on. See you later perhaps?” Maria released Tony and leaned against the door as Tony nodded at her and headed for the lift.

Waiting until she had heard Tony step into the lift, Maria finally shut the door. Heading towards the bathroom, Maria walked into her bedroom without a second thought. Only to walk in on Natasha wearing next to nothing and drying her hair.

“Has the legendary Maria Hill finally been rendered speechless?” Natasha switched off the hair dryer and turned to face Maria, raising her eyebrow as she did so.

“Oh, umm…”

_Play it cool, you’ve got this all under control._

Maria cleared her throat and started to speak.

“Maria, breathe. I hear oxygen is a necessity in these kind of situations.” Natasha was wearing a small smile and a pink tinge coloured her cheeks ever so slightly. She hadn’t heard Maria finish her conversation with whoever was at the door, so thought she was safe to wander around in just her underwear.

_Damn, Natasha looks really fucking cute in lace underwear. Oh god, I think I’m blushing._

“Sorry Natasha, I should have knocked first. I didn’t realise you were…”

“Oh relax, will you? We work together and I’m pretty sure we have showered together at some point or another. It’s no big deal, really. Half of S.H.I.E.L.D have seen more of me than I ever had intended but it’s whatever.”

“Yeah, sure. It’s whatever.” Maria nodded in agreement and walked into the bathroom.

“I won’t be long in here but it’s probably wise if you head off as soon as possible. If you want to wait for me to give you a lift I can but you will definitely be late.” Maria was about to step in the shower as she heard Natasha’s faint reply.

“No, it’s alright. I’ll head off in a minute. Also, don’t think this your opportunity for chaos. Coulson has agreed to keep an eye on you at the Triskelion and Barton helped me sweep your office last week. See you tonight дорогая.”

_Дорогая? I know that word… I really should have kept up those basic Russian lessons. Coulson isn’t so bad, his intentions are good. Even if he is a bit of a soft touch. I wonder if they thought to sweep my car?_

Maria was out of the shower and dressed within 10 minutes. Making sure she had her phone and keys, Maria headed down to the lower level car-park. Her black SUV didn’t look as though it had been swept through, but Natasha was nothing if not thorough.

As was Maria, she had taken precautionary measures in case S.H.I.E.L.D was ever compromised again. Concerned that the standard hidden compartments could become common knowledge, Maria had a few secret compartments she’d personally added.

Maria knew how Natasha’s mind worked and was fairly confident there was one place Natasha could not access, regardless of whether she knew it was there or not. Switching on the ignition and tapping the necessary security codes into the on-board computer, Maria pulled out of her space and headed out towards the freeway.

After 10 minutes or so Maria pulled into a layby and sighed heavily.

“Agent Maria Hill, initiating protocol 117.”

A small biometric thumb scanner slid out from the middle of the steering wheel. Maria placed her thumb over it and waited for it to accept her identification. After a series of tones, the scanner slid back in and a larger part of the steering wheel slid out towards her. It tilted so the leather from the wheel was facing up and what looked like small pen was ejected into Maria’s awaiting hand. Maria pulled the lid up and placed the tip over her finger, Maria then pressed the lid down and winced ever so slightly as a small needle inside the pen drew blood. A miniscule strip of plastic was now waiting for Maria to offer a sample of her blood next to the gear stick, as Maria did so the on-board computer suddenly started making a terrible screeching sound.

“That definitely is not supposed to be making that noise.” Maria was frowning as she wiped the blood from her finger. Maria began trying to dismantle the computers connection but as she did so protocol 117 began to shut down.

“AGENT HILL, A SUPPORT CAR HAS BEEN DISPATCHED TO YOUR LOCATION. PLEASE AWAIT INSTRUCTIONS.”

_Am I missing something here? I feel like I’m missing something here._

As Maria pulled her phone out from her jacket, Coulson’s number came up on the screen.

“Coulson, what is going on?”

“Okay Maria, don’t get mad but…”

“Start talking sense or so help me when I get to the office.”

“Natasha swept through your car and took almost everything but couldn’t access whatever it is you’re keeping in the steering wheel. Now although she couldn’t access it, she managed to set up an alternative code for the computer that alerted both myself and Agent Romanoff if you attempted to access it in any way.”

“You basically bugged my car?”

“Technically no. We don’t have eyes or ears on you. It was more of a…”

“I’m so done with this conversation. Goodbye Coulson.” Maria hung up and got out of the car. Coulson said didn’t have eyes or ears on her and Maria estimated she had around 10 minutes before a “back-up” car arrived. Maria began walking in the direction of Central Park. Hopefully, it would take them an hour or so to find her, even if they did track her phone.

_Screw this, I need a break._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting drunk on a park bench? Maria is ever the lady. As for Romanoff? She's still working out how to respond to other people's emotions without making them cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is the first half of the next chapter. It doesn't spread well over two chapters, I am aware. Though I didn't want to write a super long chapter and bore you all to death :) Enjoy :)   
> Oh I wrote another blackhill fic (it's like half the length of this and, in my opinion, ten times better) if you want to check it out? Italics are thoughts, just so ya know.

Natasha had been notified immediately of Maria setting off the alarm installed within the on-board computer and had headed out to meet her, by which time Maria had long gone. Natasha circled the block a few times before it occurred to her that whilst Maria wasn’t having a good day. It was still Maria. A woman with an impressive knowledge of all things tactical.

_Of course, the best place to hide is often in plain sight._

“Coulson, call off any agents you have searching for Maria. I think I know where to find her, though I suspect going in all guns blazing isn’t going to do any of us any favours.”

“Understood Romanoff. Keep me updated.”

“Yes sir.”

“Oh and Romanoff?”

“What is it Coulson?”

“Go easy on her, please. I know emotions aren’t your thing but Maria…” Coulson sighed deeply, “Sometimes she feels everything and nothing all at once and it can really get to her.” Coulson sounded calm as always but Natasha knew he was worried about Maria. They were all worried.

“Of course, is it okay if both I and Maria have the rest of the day off today?”

“Yeah, absolutely. I will go and have a word with Fury. I think that is a wise choice considering the current situation.”

“Thank you Sir, I will update you this afternoon or sooner if required.”

Natasha ended the call and drove towards Central Park, both curious and concerned as to what state Maria would be in when she got there. After ditching her car outside a parking meter on 77th street, Natasha headed towards Shakespeare’s garden knowing it was one of Maria’s favourite places in the park. 

As Natasha walked through the park, it occurred to her that she didn’t really know what to do once she had found Maria. Was Natasha supposed to apologise for hacking into Maria’s car? If the situation had been reversed, Maria would’ve done the exact same thing. Although Natasha would be furious if Maria had done it to her.

_Wait, what if Maria isn’t angry. She could be sad. Oh god, I hope not. I have had enough heart to hearts with that woman to last me a lifetime._

Natasha was well aware that going from depending on something to get you through the day to not having it at all was a far from pleasant experience. Whilst your body might be able to flush whatever it is out of your system within a few days, your brain is constantly telling you it’s the perfect solution to whatever problem you’re facing.

Natasha was deep in thought as she turned a corner and spotted Maria sat on a bench facing away from Natasha. As Natasha moved closer, she saw Maria place a small bottle on the floor next to the bench. Maria moved her hand back to the armrest knocking over the bottle as she did so. Only a dribble of clear liquid left the bottle as it rolled under the bench.

_Great, you’re drunk and in a public place. Anything else you want to throw into the mix to make things ten times harder than they need to be._

Natasha eyes bore into the back of Maria’s head, forever grateful Maria wasn’t some sort of inhuman with telepathy. The thoughts bouncing around inside Natasha’s head were rather bitter.

Natasha approached Maria from behind and sat down on the bench, as Maria was looking the other way at a small group of dogs chasing a ball. Maria turned back, sensing movement, and flinched slightly when she realised Natasha was sat next to her. Maria sighed as she registered the concern in Natasha’s eyes.

“Nat…”

“How much have you had to drink?”

Natasha’s voice was sharp, like a knife, it cut through Maria’s woozy head and left her weighed down with guilt.

“Nat please, just listen to me.”

“Have you taken anything? Do I need to let Dr Cho we’ll be visiting?”

In retrospect, Natasha could see that the whole ‘going easy on Maria’ thing had gone out the window the moment Natasha spotted that Maria had been drinking. Natasha couldn’t deny that she was angry that Maria could be drinking in the park after all the hassle Natasha had received from Maria for doing the exact same thing.

Maria still hadn’t answered Natasha; she seemed to be focusing on a helicopter passing over them.

“I’m just worried about you, you know that right? Maria?”

Natasha turned to face Maria and was shocked to discover that Maria was crying

_Fuck, she’s crying. What do I do now?_

“Fuck, Maria I’m sorry. I didn’t think, I just…”

“It’s okay; I know what you’re thinking.” Maria put on a high-pitched voice and mimicked Natasha’s mannerisms (quite well, though Natasha didn’t think now was the time to point that out) as she continued.

“Oh look Maria’s fucked up, again. What a surprise. Maybe we should just leave her to it; we might get lucky and she’ll off herself. Wouldn’t that be a shame?”

Natasha had only ever once heard Maria speak with such hatred in her voice, back when HYDRA had attempted to assassinate Fury. To hear her now though, Natasha was at a loss of how to respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has occurred to me that I have no idea how to end a story, I'll probably be writing crap in 2 months time for this because I suck at just being like ...The End. Also apologies for this being late, I could blame the writing being rushed for the lack of quality but that's just not the case.  
> Honestly, I read other people's works and it's bordering on life-changing then I try and it's like a 5 year old tried to recreate Harry Potter or something.


	7. Chapter 7

“Maria, I…” Natasha sighed, reaching for Maria’s hand as she did so. Only pausing for a moment to run her fingers over the bruises that were beginning to blossom on Maria’s knuckles.

“Maria, look at me please. I get it, really I do. You are in a shitty situation and you feel trapped. You hate yourself and you are adamant in thinking everyone else hates you too. Here’s the thing though, we don’t hate you.”

_Hell Maria, god only knows what I feel for you. It’s not hatred though, that’s for sure._

Natasha paused, waiting to see if Maria wanted to respond. The only response she got though was silence and a flash of jaw muscles as Maria clenched her teeth.

“Look, Coulson has given us both the day off; the world is our oyster right now. It may be for the best if we take you back to the tower and get you showered and sobered up though. We can do whatever you want, preferably within the immediate vicinity of your quarters. What do you say to that?”

_Please agree with me, it’s far too early for a wrestling match._

Natasha gave Maria’s hand a reassuring squeeze as she urged Maria to respond.  Maria seemed lost in thought before sharply readjusting her posture and nodding in agreement.

“Maria, you have made an excellent decision there. Would you like to know why?”

Maria raised an eyebrow at Natasha as she left the bench and followed Natasha to the car.

“See, I’m born and raised in Russia. Vodka was like mothers milk to me. Over the years, it has been in my best interest to take the time and precision to perfect a cure for my hangovers. A French toast recipe is going to make you believe in magic, you will love it. Tony does.”

Natasha was grinning like a child when she looked at Maria, Maria snorted and let slip one of her usual sarcastic replies.

“It’s good to know S.H.I.E.L.D funding is being used in all the most appropriate way, as always.”

_Aaaand Maria is back, albeit not as sober as I would like._

 

* * *

 

The drive from Central Park to the tower had taken mere minutes. The moment the pair walked through the door of Maria’s quarters, Natasha began barking orders at Maria to get in the shower. On the promise that there would be Natasha’s famous French toast waiting for Maria when she got out, of course.

Natasha knocked on the bathroom door every 3 minutes to make sure Maria had not fallen over and injured herself. After 20 minutes or so, an extravagantly long shower by military standards, Natasha heard the shower turn off. Another 5 minutes passed before the unmistakable sound of Maria pattering around in the bedroom told Natasha she needed to start putting food out on the table.

Maria emerged from the bedroom, wearing only some old gym shorts and an oversized AC/DC t-shirt that Natasha suspected once belonged to Tony.

“You look like a drowned rat woman; don’t you know how to use a hairdryer?”

_You actually look like a very attractive drowned rat but that’s a conversation for another time._

Maria glared at Natasha before sitting at the kitchen table and proceeding to stuff her face with French toast.

“Don’t forget to drink the glass of water! The bread is going to soak up all the booze in your stomach; hydration is the part that really counts. That water is the MVP of this fine meal.”

“Who are you?” Maria’s words muffled as she wolfed down another slice of toast, “My mother?”

Natasha looked down at Maria with a soft gaze and a bright smile.

“Please, do I really look that old?”

Maria smiled and relaxed back into the kitchen chair before attempting to stifle a yawn.

“Okay, I know it’s not even 10am but I’ve already had the day from hell. I am still drunk and the room is still spinning. I’m going back to bed; I don’t care if my hair is still wet. I need the sleep.”

“That’s probably best. I’m going to wash up here and then head down to the gym for a bit.”

“Okay, I’m going to set my alarm for 2:30pm. That should give me enough time to sleep off the worst of all this” Maria gestured to herself before disappearing into the bedroom.

“Just so you know there’s no booze here. Coulson had a team sweep the place whilst we were at the park. There are also several cameras hidden around this place meaning I can see what you are doing at all times, so good luck with that. Oh and Jarvis is going to let me know immediately if you leave your quarters. Isn’t that right Jarvis?”

“Indeed Ms Romanoff, I have been specifically programmed to keep a keen eye on Ms Hill’s whereabouts.” Jarvis’s voice could be heard in both the bedroom by Maria and the kitchen where Natasha was currently stood, eating the leftover toast.

Natasha smiled at the mental image of Maria suspiciously checking the corners of the bedroom and the shelving for cameras. There were no cameras, but Maria didn’t need to know that.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria is sleeping off her drunkenness. Nat has headed down to the gym, hitting stuff is a good outlet for her. There's a little chat with Barton in the gym. A heart to heart of sorts but with like 75% sarcasm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, if you wanna leave feedback that'd be super cool! I didn't mean to make this chapter so long, I hope you don't get bored halfway. I'm kind of pleased with this chapter. It's not overly dramatic, but I'm improving little by little. At least I think I am? Anyways enjoy! :)

Natasha headed to the gym after she had washed up the greasy plates and pans, diverting through the “communal entertainment” floor to grab her kit bag. Natasha never could understand Tony’s extravagance. An entire floor filled with everything from a games console to several pool tables, do not even start on the kitchen area. Natasha could see at least four different blenders as she stepped into the lift and punched in the passcode for the Avengers gym.

There are two gyms in the tower. The first gym was on the seventh floor and, whilst a good gym, quite generic. It was full of treadmills and cross-trainers. The second gym on the one hundredth floor was much more specialised. It catered to the Avengers needs and only the team, plus a few high-ranking S.H.I.E.L.D agents, had access to it.

“Jarvis, is there anyone booked to use the Avengers gym over the next couple of hours?”

Most people in the tower booked their gym slots in advance, which came in handy for both gyms, as Natasha preferred to work out alone.

“Ms Romanoff, no-one is booked to use the gym today. However, Agent Barton entered the gym ten minutes ago.”

“Okay, thank you Jarvis.”

Natasha paused and tilted her head as the lift doors began to open.

“Jarvis, do you still have thermal imaging in all the rooms in this tower?”

Natasha stepped out with her kit bag and walked towards the gym door as Jarvis replied.

“Yes Ms Romanoff, I do indeed. It does not allow me to see detail, yet I can still detect movement and hotspots.”

“That’ll be fine, is Maria asleep? I know you’ll tell me if she leaves her quarters, I just want to make sure she’s actually doing what she told me she would be doing.”

“I do not know if Ms Hill is asleep, her body language would indicate so. Since your departure, she has been in bed. I am yet to note any suspicious movement, Ms Romanoff. Rest assured you will be the first to know if I spot any anomalous behaviour.”

“Thank you Jarvis.”

Natasha sighed as she pushed open the door to the gym and headed straight for the changing rooms. After a quick change into her workout gear, Natasha left the changing rooms, making a beeline for Clint.

“Well look what the cats dragged in!” Clint was in the middle of a squat with a rather unflattering grimace on his face. He lowered the bar to the floor and walked over to Natasha before pulling her into a sweaty hug.

“Oh shut up Barton, you won’t be sounding so confident after a couple of rounds in the ring.” Natasha grinned like a child as she hugged Clint back; it had been far too long since they had last caused chaos together.

* * *

 “Let me get this straight; not only did you find Maria drunk on a bench but you also managed to make her cry? Wow Nat, you have some real skill there.”

Barton paused to block a left hook from Natasha before going on the offense and getting in two punches as Natasha whirled around him, trying to dodge his attacks.

“I didn’t mean to, I felt awful. I just wanted to hold her y’know? Tell her everything was going to be okay.”

Nat wiped the sweat from her brow before kneeing Clint in the groin and following up with a series of punches to the stomach as Clint doubled over.

“Going after my manhood? Why do you always fight so dirty?”                              

Clint knelt down on to the mats and slapped the floor twice, indicating that their sparring session had ended.

“Oh please, woman up will you? Besides, I gave you the opportunity to dodge me but no… Too slow, as always.”

Natasha smirked and sat down against the corner post of the ring as Clint glared at her menacingly.

“Okay so back to Maria, now that I can concentrate on our conversation without risking broken bones.”

Natasha smiled sadly, as she thought of Maria; tucked up in bed and sleeping off the worst of what will probably be an awful hangover.

“I’m worried about her Clint, really worried. I want to help but I just don’t know how. You know what she’s like, she hardly talks about anything from her past. She acts as if she’s invincible but she’s not. I look at her and what I see terrifies me.”

Clint bit his lip and frowned before responding.

“Why? Why does it terrify you?”

Natasha took a deep breathe before trying to find the words to explain it all.

_C’mon this is Clint. He won’t laugh at you. Just tell him, maybe he can help._

“It terrifies me because it’s like looking at myself. Seeing someone damaged beyond recognition. Someone who was always supposed to be the survivor, someone who was always supposed to be unbreakable.”

Natasha could feel her eyes beginning to water as Clint looked at her sympathetically.

“Nat, we’ve been over this. You aren’t damaged; you simply have some rather unique life experience. Besides, you have survived. I can’t imagine how hard it was for you to break free from all the Red Room conditioning but you’re here, you did it. You’re one of the good guys now.”

Natasha rolled her eyes as Clint continued with his little pep talk.

“As for Maria, I’m not really sure what to say. You’re quite right in that she is super secretive about her private life, though from what I’ve heard about Hallen Hall I don’t blame her. That sort of upbringing leaves a weight on your shoulders you can never quite lift. She’s stubborn though, she won’t let this bring her down. The pill popping is worrying though, that can go from a dodgy coping strategy to accidental suicide real quick. Just do for her what she did for you; that was a damn miracle if I ever saw one. Getting you off the booze and back on wagon every other month was almost impossible, yet somehow Maria did it.”

“Yeah, yeah Maria did manage the impossible there. It was weird, but a good kind of weird. She always knew exactly what to say and what to do if things weren’t going so great. I’m not any good at that kind of thing.”

“Pfft! I think you will surprise yourself. Try just being Nat instead of being Natasha Romanoff, S.H.I.E.L.D agent. You’re better at these things than you give yourself credit for.”

_You’re talking to the woman who was literally raised to be an assassin and nothing more. Feelings? What feelings?_

Natasha glanced at her wristwatch before standing up and beginning her warm-down routine.

“Maybe, I guess it’s worth a shot. I owe Maria that much. Shall we do this again? Same time next week? I have missed out little catch-up sessions.”

“Sure thing! A whole week without being kneed in the balls, I hope I can survive. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you’re sneaking off just as our conversation begins to get all emotional.”

Natasha avoided eye contact with Clint as she stretched out her arms.

“Don’t know what you mean Barton. I’ll let you know if the plan changes, I’m sure you’d be terribly disappointed if I wasn’t around to embarrass you in the ring.”  

Natasha’s voice was thick with sarcasm as was Clint’s reply.  

“Yeah well maybe I let you embarrass me, thought it would help boost your confidence.”

Clint had a smile that almost reached his watery blue eyes. He loved their playful banter just as much as Natasha did, if not more so.

“Oh I think we both know that’s not true. I’m gonna head back up to Maria’s to grab a shower; the water pressure here sucks. Enjoy the rest of your workout.”

“Ah yes, the joys of being gross and sweaty.”

Clint winked at Natasha as she exited the gym and headed to the lift. As Natasha waited for the lift (it was currently on floor 35) she began to think through the conversation she had just had with Clint in the gym.

_I never did figure out why Maria stuck with me through all my crap, and “I might surprise myself” what am I supposed to do with that? I was trained in the art of not feeling, this is all kind of new to me. Not that I have feelings or anything, I’m just concerned for Maria’s sake of course. She is one of the most capable S.H.I.E.L.D agents I know; I can’t just sit back and let an asset destroy themselves. ~~I need her~~. The team needs her._


End file.
